19 Jan 2022
Ms Sun Xueling
Blk 308B Punggol Walk
#01-364
Waterway Terraces 1
Singapore 822308
Dear Ms Sun,
Family Conflict: Taking Care of an Elderly Parent
I refer to two emails sent to you dated 31 Mar 21 and 5 May 21 for arranging a mediation with my siblings, however, nothing has come out of it. I suspect mainly because mediation required both parties to agree.
I hope you may be able to help this time around with new evidence to be enumerated. It shows that I have made my best effort in explaining to the authorities that our mother is being placed in harm’s way because of the following:
a) My youngest sister changed the address on our mother’s NRIC from mine to her is the cause of the problem. She now took charge of all our mother’s affairs because government agencies seem to recognise the owner of the address in our mother’s NRIC as the person responsible for her.
Why did the police allow the change on 12 Jun 21 in the first place without noting that an elderly may not be able to provide consent or, after I made the police reports on 23 Jun 21, 19 Jul 21 and 8 Nov 21, without making further investigation?
The 3rd police report dated 8 Nov 21 is in the attachment.
b) From my email dated 22 Aug 21 to CGH (Changi General Hospital) I received a reply dated 24 Aug 21 that they would give me a written reply on the drug Atorvastatin (the statin) after checking with the relevant departments. I have yet to receive the reply. Was there mistakes made in giving the statin to our mother as pointed out in my email?
c) Recently I wrote to Singhealth-Tampines (the Polyclinic) 3 emails dated 5 Dec 21, 11 Dec 21 and 20 Dec 21 to request for a change of doctor. The Clinic Director replied in very general terms to the first email as if nothing serious had happened and no subsequent reply to the next two emails. My emails were in detail referring to incidents that occurred at the Polyclinic and the reason for the request.
Should I consider reporting the doctor to the Singapore Medical Council because the problem could not be resolved? Evidence against the doctor is noted in l) and m).
The 3 emails to the Polyclinic dated 5 Dec 21, 11 Dec 21 and 20 Dec 21 are in the attachment.
d) I have since engaged 2 lawyers, one after another, to bring the matter to court because the police did not investigate. It was about a dispute between siblings and a writ of summons for a return of our mother’s NRIC so I could continue to take care of her as before. I did not require anything else. It was done through a lawyer only because there was no other way around the problem of scheming by my siblings. But both lawyers would not proceed and I have to make a complaint against them to the Law Society of Singapore on 8 Nov 21.
Other lawyers I had contacted did not respond to my request to bring the matter to court.
e) There was an attempted break-in at my flat on 17 Sep 21 for which a police report was lodged. All things considered, it was to prevent me from going through the lawsuit after an agreement was made with the second lawyer to a writ of summons a day before.
f) Finally in Sep 21 Parliament approved new powers for Singapore Courts to “order any party to any proceedings to attempt to resolve any dispute by amicable resolution” under amendments to the Courts (Civil and Criminal Justice) Reform Bill.
I do not know how much longer before our mother could be out of harm's way although it was indicated the amendment will take effect early in the year. The Bill has its 3rd Reading in Parliament on 10 Jan 22.
Our mother started on the statin from 27 Jan 21 after her stroke, her condition improved when the statin was discontinued for about a week from 25 Feb 21, yet the statin was continued since 3 Mar 21 by the insistence of my siblings. I had observed that the statin caused her to weaken whilst my siblings and the doctor [in c) above] who listened to them continued to ignore and block me from bringing her for an assessment.
g) Sometime before the appointment on 3 Apr 21 with Dr C at the Polyclinic, all my siblings decided to act against me as one. The next incident is such an instance. Other incidents continue down the list.
Our mother's condition had deteriorated such that I wanted to bring her to see a doctor on 25 Mar 21. I explained her condition from 24 Mar 21 on WhatsApp Chat but my youngest sister texted that she would not open the door to allow me. My brother texted that I could only bring her if one of the siblings followed me. His excuse was I lied about what Dr B had said at the appointment on 9 Mar 21 and therefore cannot be trusted. When I texted that I would arrange an appointment on 29 Mar 21 on a Monday, my eldest of the sisters said she could only make it on a Saturday even as I tried to persuade her and her husband. So the appointment with Dr C on Saturday 3 Apr 21 was delayed for over a week by which time the side effects of the medications would have subsided. During this period of time my siblings continued to keep me in the dark about the statin that was being given to our mother.
The appointment on Saturday 3 Apr 21 with Dr C was made together with my eldest of the sisters as a condition set by my brother. The doctor added Neurobion (Vitamin B1, B6 and B12) into the prescription for pain in our mother's legs but when I asked about the statin he said the statin had nothing to do with the pain. He scheduled the next appointment on 13 Apr 21.
At this stage I was unaware that the statin was in the prescription but Dr C did. Did my siblings with their connection manage to get Dr C to stick to their story?
I found on the internet that the statin has a side effect on some people, especially elderly women. It caused soreness, tiredness and weakness of the body and prevented exercises. It also caused myalgia--that is pain in a muscle or a group of muscles. These were the same symptoms that our mother was showing once the statin was given to her after the stroke on 27 Jan 21.
h) My brother and middle sister went to the Polyclinic on 3 Mar 21 one day before an appointment made by Dr A, who would have assessed the side effects of the statin on our mother on 4 Mar 21, to collect from another doctor 3 months of the statin. It so happened that our mother walked 80m and did the other exercises asked of her by the physical therapist at ASH (All Saints Home-Tampines) on 1 Mar 21 during the week from 25 Feb 21 to 4 Mar 21 that Dr A had discontinued the statin to check for its side effects. Dr A discontinued the statin after I had raised my concern about the side effects and weakness shown by our mother. Once off the statin she recovered well enough to perform the exercises at ASH.
Our mother’s ability to do the physical exercises at the rehabilitation centres of SACH (St Andrew Community Hospital) from 7 Oct 20 to 6 Nov 20 and ASH from 10 Nov 20 to 26 Jan 21 was her baseline when she was not on the statin. Her baseline is now 5 mins of light exercises by the bed where she complained immediately and at times slapped her hands on the bed in desperation after the statin had been given to her since 3 Mar 21.
i) Dr B stopped the statin based on a 10 years risk assessment on 9 Mar 21 and I took back the 3 months of statin from my youngest sister's possession that my brother and middle sister obtained from the doctor on 3 Mar 21. I informed them by WhatsApp Chat, but my siblings went back to the Polyclinic to collect another 3 months of the statin it would seem without the authorisation of a doctor. I asked Dr D on 13 Apr 21 whether the statin was prescribed to our mother and she confirmed it was. She did not know who gave the statin to our mother after Dr B stopped it but the statin was from the Polyclinic.
My siblings kept it a secret from me the statin that was being given to our mother after Dr B had stopped it. It is crucial to ascertain the fact by an investigation of the situation because my siblings did it with their backers.
j) My brother, middle sister and youngest sister were at the appointment on 16 Jun 21 to meet Dr F from FPC (Family Physician Clinic) for the first time after the appointment on 1 Jun 21 was blocked by my siblings. I informed Dr F that our mother was able to walk 80m at ASH after the statin was discontinued for a week by a doctor. I took back the statin on the same day it was discontinued. But he preferred my youngest sister's explanation, as if it was an explanation at all, without checking the records by saying my youngest sister knew better because she was the one giving the statin to our mother. He believed my youngest sister when she said the statin was not discontinued after Dr A had discontinued it.
k) There were 2 incidents made in preparation before the appointment with Dr F on 16 Jun 21. The first on 12 Jun 21 was the change of the address in our mother’s NRIC and the second on 14 Jun 21 was when my brother texted that he had registered my youngest sister as the caregiver in charge of all medical appointments and prescriptions and the other siblings could register as co-caregiver at the Polyclinic. When I checked with an officer from Operation at the Polyclinic, he told me anyone who brought our mother to the Polyclinic was a caregiver. At another appointment with a different helper, the helper who brings our mother would be a caregiver. My siblings and some of the staff at the Polyclinic had wanted to exclude me, which could have been the intention since 3 Mar 21 when they overrode the assessment to be made by Dr A whether to discontinue the statin.
l) After I wrote to the Polyclinic on the same day that Dr F continued to prescribe the statin for the next 3 months, I went to the Polyclinic the next day where an executive and assistant manager from Operation assisted me to make the appointment on 18 Jun 21 for a reassessment by another doctor. However, later in the day the executive called me over the phone to say all siblings have to be present before going for the appointment. It was a turnaround. It did not make sense because the issue was with the doctor.
It seems to me they were protecting the doctor by setting up an impossible condition for me because my siblings would not agree to a change of doctor after having pre-selected Dr F [explained in m)]. It should have been that all siblings had to agree to having the same doctor and the doctor had to be independent in his assessment of his patient. Both of these conditions were not met.
On 18 Jun 21, the day of the appointment, I called the police to prevent an altercation I expected as my brother, middle sister and youngest sister were at the house to prevent me from bringing our mother for a reassessment at the Polyclinic. The two police officers who came spoke to us, but my siblings blocked the appointment.
What is wrong with a second opinion from a doctor when Dr F did not check the record whether the statin was discontinued by Dr A. I told Dr F that the statin was discontinued by a doctor for a week, but my youngest sister said to Dr F she had not stopped giving the statin. Dr F could also have checked that the statin was stopped by Dr B, yet he continued with the statin because my siblings wanted it so by going against the recommendation from Dr B and later with Dr D. Also, Dr F could have checked our mother’s baseline while she was at the 2 rehabilitation centres when she was not on the statin from 7 Oct 20 to 26 Jan 21 compared to her baseline since giving the statin from 3 Mar 21 [refer to h) and o)]. Dr F ignored me, but collaborated with my siblings [my 3 emails to the Polyclinic in c)].
m) The important issues before the appointment with Dr F on 16 Jun 21 are the blocking of an appointment made 3 months earlier by Dr B on 1 Jun 21, getting a police officer on the same day to say I was not allowed to go to my youngest sister’s house and selecting a doctor of their choice by blocking the appointment on 1 Jun 21 and then rescheduling the appointment I made from 10 Jun 21 to 16 Jun 21.
I had asked the staff at the registration counter of the Polyclinic to record on the Appointment Card the date and the name of the doctor each time the appointment was made on 1 Jun 21, 10 Jun 21 and 16 Jun 21. On 16 Jun 21, the day itself, the doctor was switched to another doctor who was Dr F. It showed that my siblings have access to the staff at the Polyclinic to allow them to pre-select a doctor that would listen to them as events unfolded.
n) My youngest sister changed the address of our mother’s NRIC to hers on 12 Jun 21 in preparation for the appointment with Dr F on 16 Jun 21. I was not aware of the change at the time. But with the change of address all medical appointments at the Polyclinic and CGH have effectively passed into the hands of my youngest sister/my siblings as with the switching of doctors just mentioned. The lawsuit was therefore about the return of our mother’s NRIC beside the medical reassessment, if required, of our mother because of the weakness caused by the statin.
o) Our mother fractured her hip on 27 Sep 21 and had a successful hip implant at CGH. Rehabilitation was carried out during her stay at SACH for a month and she continued her rehabilitation at ASH twice a week.
The rehabilitation at SACH from 7 Oct 20 to 6 Nov 20 went well. The sessions consisted mainly of physical therapy of an hour each day except alternate Saturday and on Sunday. Our mother was able to perform all the exercises asked of her including climbing up and down 3 flights of the stairs when she became stronger. This was during the period when she was not on the statin.
However, my middle sister would call up the physical therapist at ASH to persuade her to confess that rehabilitation was of no use to our mother with the intention to cancel it. The physical therapist informed me that she told my middle sister that she kept a record of the exercises done by our mother to show whether there was progress. This was the first incident to show that my middle sister would use her influence to take matters into her own hands without informing me.
It is to be noted that I was the person who attended to our mother each day at CGH, SACH and each session at ASH after she fractured her hip. Similarly at CGH after she had a stroke. I was in a position to assess our mother better than any one of my siblings.
p) Our mother was warded at CGH for a stroke from 27 Jan 21 to 11 Feb 21. When I checked with the staff at the ward counter of CGH at about the time of her discharge, I was informed that her discharge was on 12 Feb 21 as shown on the computer but the time was not set yet. I was then informed in time by a consultant doctor, not the attending doctor who I spoke to several times, that the discharge was on 11 Feb 21. My siblings and staff at CGH had set up a situation to discharge our mother on 11 Feb 21 a day before Chinese New Year in an attempt to take over from me the responsibility I have with our mother. The consultant doctor also informed me there was a medication that could affect the liver that needed to be checked after the discharge.
A few days earlier the attending doctor had discussed with me the discharge and had insisted on having the rehabilitation at CGH but I wanted it at ASH as the first rehabilitation there had gone well. My brother, who I spoke to about it, said there was going to be trouble with my middle and youngest sister.
Rehabilitation at ASH was more convenient and suitable for me and our mother but my middle and youngest sister may have felt uncomfortable for their own reasons.
I could have missed her discharge and with it her discharge documents and the collection of her prescriptions because the visiting hour was in the afternoon and the discharge usually in the morning. My siblings and the staff would have then prevented me from knowing about the statin considering that its side effects are well known.
I had always taken charge of all our mother’s medical appointments including the rehabilitations at SACH (from 7 Oct 20 to 6 Nov 20) and All Saints Home (from 10 Nov 20 to 26 Jan 21) after the hip implant, but my siblings intended to take away the responsibility I had with our mother with the help of staff at CGH.
I therefore sent an email dated 15 Feb 21 to CGH of this incident and other matters at the hospital. I received a phone call from CGH later that I took as an acknowledgment.
The email to CGH dated 15 Feb 21 is in the attachment.
q) After her discharge on 11 Feb 21 for the stroke, AIC (Agency for Integrated Care) informed me rehabilitation at ASH would be available in one to two month’s time. I texted in WhatsApp that the rehabilitation at ASH may not be necessary because I and the maid could continue it at home. We had been shown the type of exercises to do.
However, my brother texted that he managed to arrange the rehabilitation earlier on 1 Mar 21. He also texted that he could manage with the payment. Thus he was able to bypass the usual channel but deception was in the air.
It was to be the second rehabilitation at ASH but MSW (Medical Social Worker) allowed my brother to be registered with our mother behind my back. Once the forms were completed, they came downstairs to meet me. The MSW wanted me only as the 2nd emergency contact. I found that payment was through our mother’s CPF using her thumbprint.
My brother and middle sister (she was at the registration) managed to get the MSW in a scheme to prevent me from registering with our mother. The MSW was the same person who registered us for the first rehabilitation after the hip implant. She should have known that I was the only caregiver in the submission to AIC because the registration at ASH was through AIC.
The start of the second rehabilitation at ASH on 1 Mar 21 was on the same day that my brother registered our mother. The date is of crucial importance. My brother and middle sister made an appointment with another doctor at the Polyclinic on 3 Mar 21 to continue with the statin ahead of an appointment made by Dr A on 4 Mar 21. Dr A had discontinued the statin for a week on 25 Feb 21 to check for its side effects and would have made his assessment on 4 Mar 21. The events speak for itself, our mother walked 80m and did the other exercises asked by the physical therapist on 1 Mar 21 when she was off the statin. Our mother has not recovered since 3 Mar 21 when my siblings insisted on giving the statin to her.
r) My brother stopped the second rehabilitation at the centre after 18 Mar 21 citing high blood pressure. Only 4 sessions were conducted on 1 Mar 21 (the first session), 4 Mar 21, 8 Mar 21 and 11 Mar 21. The sessions on 15 Mar 21 and 18 Mar 21 were not conducted because of high blood pressure measured at the centre.
A case could be made from what I wrote in WhatsApp Chat that after my siblings collected the statin on 3 Mar 21 our mother's condition began to deteriorate. After I brought our mother to see Dr B who had stopped the statin based on a 10 years risk assessment on 9 Mar 21, my siblings were secretly continuing with the statin obtained from the Polyclinic.
s) Dr E recommended rehabilitation at ASH through AIC on 24 Apr 21. But the MSW who had registered our mother for the first and second rehabilitation refused to accept the recommendation. She called me over the phone to say the application was not accepted for the same reason that my brother stopped the second rehabilitation taking care not to state the reason. The reason was clear to me then and is clear to me now. It was because my siblings started giving our mother the statin from 3 Mar 21. Our mother could not possibly have continued with the therapy because the statin had continued to weaken her for 10 months by the end of 2021.
The problems I met at the hospitals, with the police and the lawyers are noted above. As I see it, our mother is in harm's way because of the scheming by my siblings and their backers. The backers have been at me for over a long time.
Please refer to f) above. How long will it take to resolve the dispute by amicable resolution under the Courts (Civil and Criminal Justice) Reform Bill?
Yours Sincerely,
cc
President’s Office
Prime Minister’s Office
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